Jenny's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Jenny [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Apr 2003|04:20pm] [ mood | accomplished ] Wow I love my new lay-out=] It looks so HOT!=] *rawr* if you like it, feel free to let me know. Thanks!! x0x ~Jen 4 comments|post comment

[16 Mar 2003|11:44am] I just got a new lay~out up..I think I'm going to start using this journal from now on. I have WAY too many people added on my other lj that I don't know. Check out my awesome lay~out, and tell me what you think:)x0x ~Jen post comment

[11 Jan 2003|09:47pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Avril Lavigne//Things I'll never say ] First 2003 post on here. LoL. Its been awhile. My brother called. We talked for like an hour and a half. It was cool. I'm glad hes my brother, even after like Christmas incident and everything. I love him more than anything, ands hes my world. Hes one of my bestfriends in the world. I hope its still ok with Stacia's mom to stay the weekend with her. I want too sooo bad. I miss hanging out with her, and everything. She is my bestfriend forever!~!:) Ok well I'm done. I have had a busy week. I've been online a half an hour a day, and then I'm gone. I hate being online, but whatever. I'll stay up late watching t.v. tonight then I'll wake up late, and rush to finish my homework. I hate school sometimes! Oh well. I'm happy thats best part of it all. ~Jen 1 comment|post comment

[15 Nov 2002|07:17pm] Haven't updated on here lately. I'm trying to work on my livejournals and actually make them look better, so far that hasn't been going a long to great, it's very time consuming. As soon as I get around to it I'll start transfering people to my friend's list on here. Other than that leave me some comments:] xoxo ~Jen<33 1 comment|post comment

Strength is my mother for all the love she gave.. [03 Nov 2002|05:17pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Christina Aguilera-"I'm Okay" ] pinkgoblin_gurl Tanks again fer making my icon all pretty;] ^She makes the prettiest icons I swear! woot woot! Haven't updated on here in awhile, but I'm working on this whole lj lay out crap so I can at least have it set up nice, right now it looks quite crappy, but yea. Add me if you want to, I'll add you back. Leave me a comment er something. Tanks!! xoxo<33 post comment

Cuz I expeirenced all kinds of relationships and I know what I need... [30 Sep 2002|08:42pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Samantha Mumba-"I'm Right Here" ] I stayed home sick today because I could barely swallow, and I could barely walk without feeling like I was going to pass out. I hate fucking Michigan weather. A lot has been going on lately..too much for me to discuss.. Other than that..I just need someone to talk to, not like here let's talk on the internet and all the people I hang out with I can't really talk to them about this. I just need a hug (not just from my boyfriend, that's what they're there for, but from a friend, it could be anyone) other than that I feel like people pretend they care but when it comes down to it, they just want to fuck with my head. Isn't that how life goes though? Didn't I ask for that? Anyways, I have a meeting Oct. 2nd about Homecoming or it should be Oct. 2nd that's what Brandon heard. Going over Danielle's tommorow & we're supposed to go shopping for Jenn Penn's birthday (her birthday is Oct 2nd). Anyways, that's all..(I wish there was more closure than that). post comment

Dance all night to this d.j. [21 Sep 2002|04:15pm] [ mood | blank ] Ok I actually had a good day and I am praying it stays that way and if something or someone pisses me off I'm just going to ignore them, they ain't ruining one good day of this week, my one good day would like to stay that way. So anyways went to Macomb Mall bought some pairs of jeans at Gadzooks and a top and a necklace to match my homecoming dress. I went to Deb for my homecoming shoes which were like $30, but really cute, if you want to see them be at Homecoming:0) Then had to buy a Playstation 2 and a dvd player, had to get some plants and rocks for my fish and then some special fish food which they didn't have so had to get something else. So yea now I have to order my class ring sometime soon because their taking orders the 26th n 27th. Welp, I think I'm going to take a shower, do some homework, find out whats for dinner (hopefully going out to eat), oh but I want to watch football game..state's on!! post comment

And I just wish I didn't feel like there's something I missed.. [21 Sep 2002|12:04am] Just figured before I hit anything I'd say one last thing. My life is a p.o.s. the satisfaction I get, I soon lose. I feel like I'm running through this cave in my life, dark and empty and I keep going, I keep looking back to see who's following me and there's always someone, but I keep running, keep going because the one place I want to get to is the one place I've already been. I'm so fucking screwed up, thanks to my mom and dad, thanks for fucking letting me down, showing me how the world shouldn't be and yet I still percieve it as being. I can't help but feel completely alone to think what I have, I've lost, what I found I can't replace, what I see was never in front of me. I realize no one cares, if they did they'd see my pain and instead of hurting me more they'd stop, they'd just stop what they were doing and either do as I ask or just leave me alone, which is probably what I sometimes ask of them. As Lance's info says.."Whenever we try to be ourselves, we end up being something else." Yep, exactly how it is, guess I have to live my life up and keep being this person I hate more and more being, but somehow I am her. People think they know and feel my pain if they knew the truth they'd see someone completely different from who I am, so why percieve whom I'm not? It's like smiling even though your crying, people see you crying but when you smile they see something else, if that makes any sense. I'm out. Some words I felt like I needed to say. post comment

It's almost over now..no one really dies..(Yea We Do!) [19 Sep 2002|10:28pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | N.e.r.d.-"Rock Star" ] Really tired, just got in the house from Jay and Jordan stopping by. Got my present for Danielle:0) Other than that I just feel soo lousy as a person, as a friend, a girlfriend. I no longer understand why I'm here and I realize I'm going to stop coming online as much because it just upsets me more to face reality and I know I should, but right now I refuse to. I'm tired, stressed, upset, and fucked up in the head. As I feel that tons of people are depressed I feel quite the same, same old story, bitch bitch bitch, all I do. Enough shit said, enough thought, have only told one person a damn thing and I think that's how its going to stay as of now, I hate life, maybe things might change eventually til then I won't update until I find some happiness. post comment

Sometimes I've got to run away.. [18 Sep 2002|07:52pm] [ mood | stressed ] I always feel like no one cares, and when someone does I push them away. No matter what I do in a relationship, I'm always doing something wrong. I'm either more like a friend than a girlfriend, more like a girlfriend and not anything like a friend, neither girlfriend nor friend, or I'm just there. I just sit here lately and wonder why my life has to pass me by like it does. Part of me is crying in my mind and then there's a sense of wonder if this life of mine will get any better? I don't know if it will, I know that when I wake up I ask myself what's my purpose? Go to school, try and struggle getting good grades, finding more and more stress. I bitch a lot lately, snap at people for dumb reasons or no reasons at all. I just feel so shitty and I just want to cry, I don't rememeber feeling so shitty. I feel like I don't deserve Jay and this will come out bad but I wouldn't blame him for cheating on me because I'm such a shitty excuse for a girlfriend. Why do I even bother saying that because I know people are just going to get mad at me for saying it let alone thinking it? Life is such a pain in my ass, lately I've been asking myself why I'm even here? I feel like my grades are slipping, the only classes I'm doing good in are English, Math, and Debate. The sad thing is I don't think I even care anymore. I decided sometime this weekend or week I'm just going off by myself and taking a walk away from a lot of things, I'm not sure what my problem is I just know it's driving me crazy, I wanted someone to talk to but not many people have time for me anymore, that's fine I guess. I just know I have to get away before I just lose it completely, which I think is real soon. post comment

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